Power, Spirit, and Totem Animals: Proof that I Should Split Up My Ideas into Separate Blogs

Luz--- the llama I had the
privilege of caring for in Cusco
last summer.

<-- This is me today. Or at least this is my hair today. So today, I honor the llama. You are my power animal of the moment. Rock the llama-"fro"! After all, this one's not so much about the "basic integrative force" or "collective life of a social group." It's not that deep. Rather, it's "specific and personal for every individual"--- in this instance, namely just me. (396-397)
You had fair warning. Here comes the short novel, my pets--- here we go deep into the trenches of my childhood and inner psyche. For those of you who don't like narratives or short stories (or me, I guess, which if fine, too) please don't feel obligated to read on. However, for those of you who are interested, I will muse upon what the experience of tapping into the particular power of animals has had on me in my very limited experiences. 


As many of you have probably noticed, (or maybe not) my interests and research are varied and for the most part non-linear or rather useless (Egyptian mythology, Native American literature, tattoo culture, animal husbandry, storytelling traditions across cultures). However, I think here, they actually come together to make some sense of the mess that is my mind.


For you see, I grew up reading horoscopes and researching Chinese astrology. It was a guilty pleasure of mine. Of course, this was all linked to my rather unexplained fascination with all things related to mythology rather than any true faith, but I was always interested in seeing if there was any resonance to a certain year yielding certain characteristics in children. I mean, I don't think I ever asked anybody seriously "Baby, what's yo sign?!" But you know what I mean. I used it more so that I could try to disprove it. What I found was that comparing myself to what I was "supposed" to be did yield some interesting notions of my own self-perception. I actually did give quite a bit of reflection as to how these animals resonated with me. So--- I am a Scorpio born in the year of the horse. What does this mean, you ask? 

Well, to start off with, I should probably admit that I love horses and am indifferent towards scorpions, and as I will explain later, my experiences with either differ. However, in my very contradictory nature, being a scorpio horse means that I'm a complex and multi-faceted creature. Just as no Myers-Briggs test has yet quanitifiably identified me as an introvert or an extrovert, the jury is still out, folks, if I want to claim both of these creatures as my power animals. One one hand, I am apparently a social butterfly, although flighty, on the other I'm withdrawn and overpassionate and interested in the occult. I mean, as much as I can rationalize these two divergent characters to represent me, I don't necessarily have a strong tie to the scorpion at this time in my life. (As a side note, though, interestingly enough, my first scorpion sting pretty much coincided with me hitting puberty and the beginning of the most dramatic of my  adolescent angst. I just thought that coincidental.) I'll talk more about horses later.

Where do I look then? Like I've told you before, I've been Mariah Rabbit since I was old enough to speak. I dubbed myself that. I don't really know why. However, it stuck. Rabbitini, Bunny Foo Foo, Thumper--- you name the rabbit-related term, I've probably been called it. But your animal isn't something you're supposed to be able to choose. It must choose you. But perhaps the rabbit has.

They've always been a constant presence in my life. My sister had them as pets. Then I did. Then I saved a very young one from a coyote out in the field while I was plowing one day. There's a whole list of events. Is that evidence alone? In that vein, then, along the translation of Durkheim, the rabbit is "a from of symbol representing the collective life of a [my] social group, being its basic integrative force." (396) "My people" then, would be ingenious, timid, gentle, nervous, humble, always aware of an escape, wildcards quick to action, fearful but faithful, (all true of the people I get along with best) and very interested in procreation and rebirth. (woah there!) I will say this, I do like babies, and recently I've been considering midwifery as a trade. Perhaps getting Rory, my newest rabbit, was supposed to mark some push to look more into that. Moreover, rabbit shows us that defending ourselves doesn't always involve fighting back. He/she teaches us to listen carefully to what is going on in our environment so we can accurately use our intuition when in danger. This sounds like me. I can work with that.

But after I think upon this more, I just get a bit confused, for it seems that my life is always in some constant flux of rejuvenation or change or new awareness, so I have different animals pass in and out fluidly without much question or remark. I mean, I don't want to think of this as some kind of special thing, but I have always been that kid who remarked on animals passing by my car or in a book or in a blurb as I pass by it on tv at the time and tried to recognize why they chose that time to show up. I always have. My mom would always help me through it and talk it out with me. Yes, I'll admit it, I was that weird kid who talked about "signs" all the time. I didn't then, nor do I now think of them as coincidences, but rather as felicitous manifestations of what is going on in the world. 
I was the kid who read Pullman's His Dark Materials and had hours of discussion with my friends over what our daemons would be. I was the kid who liked Disney princesses because they had cool animal sidekicks and friends (and because they were not socially outcast because they sang in public). Aladdin had Abu. Cinderella had Jack and Gus. Who would be my animal "familiar" if Disney had recreated my life? I mean, my life has been one animal encounter after another. I constantly saw deer as a kid out in "the boonies." I might even conjecture that my brother's power animal is the deer after one seemingly came out of nowhere to give him a wake up call one night. Red-tailed hawks and scissor-tails have often made their homes near mine. When I lived on reservation land in OK(just a couple short months), I was always dealing with bison that would rub up on my truck. So, too, would mountain lions visit occasionally, (much to my dad's chagrin) to become the talk of my small town. Then, there were the ever-present dairy cows that I look upon as the definition of all that is life and serenity and "motherhood", and sure, while "there is a very palpable memory there, a living memory of what I felt and experienced," like Moyer's feelings about UT, these fit into a more overarching philosophy and ideal for me rather than one source of power that I can tap into specifically. Now, it's as if wherever there are animals, of whatever kind, I can feel at home. I mean, now, I feel detached from any one certain place since I've moved around, my childhood home is gone, and because I look at myself somewhat as a vagabond on adventures around the world. If anything, the beings I surround myself with do more to define me than the resonance of a place (even with how much I love UT.) 

A brumby in Kakadu. A few minutes after this, he got all
excited and started prancing around our little comvee.

Perhaps this can be explained by the 2 animals most prevalent in my dream life/unexpected meetings lately. So, back to the horse. If I look at recurring patterns and themes of my life--- the horse is always there. My mom and I (super kindred spirits, we always say) were both born in the year of the horse like I mentioned before. I begged for them when I was younger and we've adopted 3 so far. A PMU mare, a little mare who was being "too-cowboyed" as I have euphemistically explained, and a mustang. I bonded with the brumbies in Oz. When I was in Honduras, too, we had to stop for gas one last time before we headed to the airport and there was a wild horse literally just running down the major highway before I said a prayer for it to get out of harm's way and it veered off into a sidestreet and up the mountainside. I think I need to think on this further, though.

As for the power animal that I'm vibing right now, I'm going to second Brianne's claim to the fox.

However, I will acknowledge Andrews' statement that even if two people share an animal, it manifests in separate ways for them. For I feel like these foxes just keep popping up as journey animals for this particular stage in my life, and may leave as soon as I've passed through the trials of this time. (Deep, I know) In fact, it is a little felicitous that I think of this now, because I didn't even see a fox until about 5 years ago. We had one visit our condo on a family trip, and while I was there alone one day, reading in the living room with the porch door wide open in order to enjoy the fresh mountain air, he decided to climb on up the stairs and come to the foot of the couch to just stare at me. Then a year later, my best friend from high school who I had lost touch with sent me a message about how life was going for him in England, and the first line was mentioning how loud the foxes were. Third point of evidence: these guys.

Picture I took at Mt. Rainier over Christmas break. It just sat there and
posed for me. And then took off  when my brother walked up.

Picture I took the same evening on Rainier. The darker side of fox-dom. 

And fourth of all, and perhaps the most interesting to me, is that I just discovered that one of my better friends from my trip to Peru just showed me the "secret tattoo" she keeps hidden because she touts that it is so personal. But I visited her over spring break and used my wiles to trick her into wearing a bathing suit, and I snuck a peek at her body art. Convenient, isn't it?

After those signs, I'll just go ahead and claim it. The fox, is indeed, touted as a trickster and wily. It is also known, like the rabbit, for its ingenuity and ability to be mindful of surrounding. I suppose this goes hand in hand with the fact that it is a renowned shapeshifter and adapter.  The fox encourages us to think outside of the box and use our intelligence in different, creative ways. Perhaps I should try to approach all my circumstances happening now differently that I normally would-- unorthodox methods, if you will. 

Come to think of it, though, my mom and I always joke about how when it rains it pours, and how all the bad accidents with animals in our lives always seem to come at some critical time (though at this point, everyday of our lives feels pretty hectic and critical. That's just the way we seem to do things.) When the bull attacked my dad, or when the deer completely jumped over the car in front of him to crush into my brother's--- those marked meaningful moments in my family's life beyond the shock of these events. (Now that I think about it, I was not able to pick up my new little lop Magnus on Sunday because of the host of things that happened over the weekend.) Believe, people. 

 But then I have to ask myself, with all of the history and mythology that I know is associated with animals across the world, why just restrict myself to animals from this continent? When I was in Australia, the stories and energy of the people was palpable. When I was in Peru, I swear that people almost cried when they saw a condor, and I had to smile as I watched the little old lady who would go to the "Jaguar Square" to touch the 10-sided rock (and heard over and over how Cusco was initially designed in the shape of a Jaguar, and thus survived against the Spaniards for so long because it was imbued with special jaguar magic.) Even the nice little Maori lady in New Zealand gave me a bone amulet when I left as a gift of travel and connection to her people. (Don't worry, I'll wear it to class tomorrow.) But then why haven't I had experiences with animals from other parts of the world, you know? I must ponder on this and get back to you.
P.S. As a side note, there was mention in here of body modification as a sacramental type ideology. As a fan of tattoos, I thought I'd share my family and friend's experiences with this:

To commemorate her move and freedom and voice.

To mark a transformative period in her life.

To symbolize the unity of life and her love for the gentleness and innocence of deer.

My brother, who's always loved wolves, has
Norse trickster Loki Fenris tattooed on his elbow.

 And then people who have taken it to a much more literal level. What's your opinion, folks? True dedication to their inner spirit and self and spiritualism... or something else?